9 SIGNS YOU’VE FOUND YOUR SOULMATE
(If you believe in that sort of thing)
by author Kelsey Borresen
by author Kelsey Borresen
Mention the word “soulmate” to a group of
people and you’re bound to get a few eye rolls. The idea that there’s
one magical person for you who you’ll fall in love with instantly and
never disagree with is just not realistic.
What does exist — at least for many
people — is a person who you know instinctively, who you connect with on
the deepest level and who allows you to grow as a person within the
relationship. When that person is a romantic partner, you’ve come across
something truly special.
So how do you know when you’ve found The One? Below, a team of love and relationship experts identify the most telling signs.
1. You communicate without speaking.
Soulmates can read each other like an open book. “They connect
fervently on every level of being,” clinical psychologist and
relationship expert Dr. Carmen Harra told The Huffington Post. “One may
finish the other’s sentences, they may pick up the phone to call each
other simultaneously, or feel like they simply can’t be without their
partner.”
Dr. Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist
and author of Love Sense, said that a soulmate also knows how to respond
to your emotional signals. “They stay close when you confide, give you
their full attention and move in to answer to your needs, touching your
hand when you are a little unsure, beaming and hugging you when you are
glad, and tenderly comforting you when you are in pain,” she added.
2. You know in your gut that you’ve found The One.
2. You know in your gut that you’ve found The One.
The old adage “When you know, you know”
rings true when it comes to a soulmate connection. “There really is no
guessing or wondering when the real thing comes along,” wedding
officiant and author Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway told The Huffington Post.
“There is usually a telltale sign that lets you know when true love has
arrived -– a voice in your head, a sense of recognition or a gut feeling
that this is someone special to you.”
3. The physical chemistry is palpable…
…and the electricity that you feel
doesn’t just happen on a sexual level. “Holding the hand of your
soulmate throws your spirit into a whirlwind, even many years into the
relationship,” Harra said.
4. You’ve been totally comfortable around each other since day one.
4. You’ve been totally comfortable around each other since day one.
Soulmates connect with ease right off the
bat and let their true colors show without fear of judgment. “Soulmates
often feel a sense of the familiar and a sense of comfort around each
other,” Brockway said. “Many people say it’s easier to relax into that
person and allow themselves to be vulnerable.”
“It is the one who opens up to you –- who
lets you in, so you can see them,” Johnson added. “This is the kind of
person who takes risks and shares about their inner world, their
emotions and their needs.”
5. But the relationship isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. He or she challenges you like no one else can.
The soulmate relationship, despite what
people might assume, isn’t always smooth sailing. “A soulmate isn’t
always wrapped in the perfect package, physically or in terms of life
circumstances — nor does it mean that the relationship will come without
challenge,” author Kailen Rosenberg of matchmaking firm The Love
Architects said. “Yet, the difference is that the life circumstances and
the difficult challenges are a strengthening power that becomes the
glue that keeps you together through the difficult times and helps each
of you become your most authentic self.”
What’s more, we rely on our soulmates to
help us evolve as people. “You might find a soulmate relationship to be
rocky, and that your partner is someone who pushes your buttons and
aggravates you at first because they bring with them some of the more
difficult lessons for the soul,” Brockway said.
6. You may not see eye-to-eye on every little thing, but you’re on the same page where it really matters.
“A soulmate relationship doesn’t necessarily mean both partners always share the same views, but that their overall goals and ambitions match,” Harra said. “More diminutive opinions will differ, but soulmates generally have the same virtues and values and see the world through a similar lens.”
7. The relationship brings both partners a sense of inner calm.
It’s obvious when you’re with the wrong person; you are insecure about the relationship and worry that one false move will turn your partner off. That’s not the case for soulmates.
“A soulmate relationship doesn’t necessarily mean both partners always share the same views, but that their overall goals and ambitions match,” Harra said. “More diminutive opinions will differ, but soulmates generally have the same virtues and values and see the world through a similar lens.”
7. The relationship brings both partners a sense of inner calm.
It’s obvious when you’re with the wrong person; you are insecure about the relationship and worry that one false move will turn your partner off. That’s not the case for soulmates.
“You feel confident that your partner is
with you for the long haul,” dating expert Tracey Steinberg, author of
Flirt For Fun & Meet The One said. “No matter what happens in your
lives, you both agree that you are teammates and in it together.” She
continued, “Your inner voice tells you that you are in a healthy
relationship. You trust each other, feel confident and comfortable
around each other and feel safe discussing challenging topics in a
mature way.”
8. You and your partner have separate identities, but you face the world as one.
8. You and your partner have separate identities, but you face the world as one.
“Soulmates recognize that they are two
parts of the same whole, and no outside influence or external matter can
break that bond,” Harra said.
9. You may have known each other for years, but you suddenly find yourselves ready for love at the same time.
When it comes to true love, timing is
everything. “I have married so many couples who met in high school or in
their twenties, maybe dated, broke up, moved on, or hung out around the
same circle of friends and never connected,” Brockway told The
Huffington Post. “Then one day, they run into each other again,
sometimes in magical ways, and love blooms.” Keep an open mind and an
open heart so that when your soulmate comes knocking, you’re ready to
answer the door.