You Might Be An Engineer If...

"Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers ?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets."

You Might Be An Engineer If...

* —You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
* You enjoy pain.
* You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
* You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force".
* You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
* It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
* You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver".
* You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
* You think in "math".
* You've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
* You hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
* You have a pet named after a scientist.
* You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
* The Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
* You can translate English into Binary.
* You can't remember what's behind the door in the engineering building which says "Exit".
* You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
* You are completely addicted to caffeine.
* You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
* You consider ANY non-engineering course "easy".
* When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
* The "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
* You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
* The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.
* You bring a computer manual / technical journal as vacation reading.
* The salesperson at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
* You can't help eavesdropping in computer stores... and correcting the salesperson.
* You're in line for the guillotine... it stops working properly... and you offer to fix it.
* You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects.
* You have any "Dilbert" comics displayed in your work area.
* You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
* You have never backed up your hard drive.
* You haven't bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
* You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
* You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
* You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon
* You've ever calculated how much you make per second.
* Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the gadgets.
* You understood more than five of these jokes.
* You make a copy of this list, and post it on your door (or your home page !)

"Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet." — Scott Adams.