Friday, February 3, 2012

Why did the chicken cross the road?


Law of the commoners :
".....to move is the chicken, to stay is the road.......therefore the chicken cross the road "

What if
".....to move is the road, to stay is the chicken.......therefore sharp corners in our trunk road".
(ie: Avoiding chicken farms therefore we built our roads with sharp corners.)

Hence, opportunity for Bituminas Premium-R A Classic.

Finally, the answers we have all been waiting for...


Why did the chicken cross the road?

 Answers from the Economists:- 

A CLASSICAL ECONOMIST : an invisible hand moved the chicken

A NEO-CLASSICAL ECONOMIST :because the marginal utility of the chicken to cross the road exceeds the marginal cost

A FREE-MARKET ECONOMIST : because there's an excess supply of chicken on this side, and an excess demand of chicken on the other side of the road

A CHICAGO SCHOOL ECONOMIST : because the market told it so

A KEYNESIAN ECONOMIST : because of a monetary expansion, the currency depreciates, the relative price of domestic chicken got lower, so there'll be an export expansion of chicken to another side of the road Answers from other prominent figures,

Answer from everyone else:

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE : To cross or not to cross, that is the question

KEANU REEVES (in 'The Matrix') : The chicken did not actually cross the road. Only your mind told you so

DARTH VADER : It was the chicken's destiny to cross the road

LUKE SKYWALKER : May the force be with the chicken!

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

DANA SCULLY: Its not possible! Chicken don't cross the road on their own, they are not capable of doing so.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road - it transcended it.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and bestchickens along with Anderson Consulting with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

JACK (Titanic) : They cross, I cross.

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