Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Ramblings: Easier to stomach children's prattle than some headlines

Sunday Focus
By S.H. Tan
06 August 2000


TZE Chi called me Papa and her mother Mama. This was what we had instilled in her and she had no problem with it.

But, after being in Standard One SRJK (C) Puay Chai for only one month, she called me Daddy.

I told her no, I was Papa. But she insisted that I was Daddy.

When I asked her why, she said that her school friends referred to their fathers as Daddy.

She did not say it, but, apparently, she must have thought that she would have sounded odd if she did not speak like her friends.

Not surprisingly, her mother is now Mummy.

I realised what I was up against when I accompanied her to her class the other day and heard one pupil say to another: "You on the fan can or not?"

And the other replied: "Sure can. But why you so late one?"

And so, back home, when Tze Chi said "Daddy, please on the TV for me", I did not lift an eye-brow although I had taught her to say "turn on the TV" or "switch off the light".

It followed that it was nothing new when she came home one day and said: "I don't like Kevin one."

As she is now six going on seven, I know that no matter how I try, I will not be her role model till she is able to think for herself.

My suspicion that I just could not win was confirmed when I took her and her mother to a fast food restaurant. At the next table were two SYTs in discreet but animated conversation when one of them suddenly exclaimed: "Like that kind susah (difficult) for me."

Her friend said: "Why you so chicken? Hantam (clobber) him."

And the first SYT said: "Aiyah ... tak guna (no use) lah. When he walks out, lagi teruk (more serious) for me."

With children and teenagers talking like that kind one, is it any wonder that some adults in TV sitcoms have also got into the act?

Imagine this scene:

She: "I cinta (love) you, you cinta her, she cinta him dan (and) he cinta them."

He: "Siapa (who is) them?"

She: "His ibu (mother) dan bapak (father)."

Apparently, in the society the two characters move in, there is no word in Malay for personal pronouns.

With rojak (salad) being made of English and Malay, some newspapers have become addicted. But, instead of Manglish (Malaysian-English), they discard simple and concise words for clumsy, tortuous, half-intelligible words and phrases.

Or several words are roped in to do the work of one word. Just as the shorter and more familiar word is often the best, so the simple word is better than the long phrase which adds nothing to the meaning.

For example, there is no good reason to use "prior to" instead of "before". Yet "prior to" is appearing with such frequency in newspapers that it is alarming.

"Before" is simpler, better known, more natural, and, therefore, preferable.

By all means use the phrase "a prior engagement" where prior is doing its proper job as an adjective. But to say that you made an engagement "prior to" receiving the second invitation conveys grandeur which is non-existent.

Will children in a kindergarten understand a teacher who says "prior to participating in the egg-and-spoon race, dispense with your footwear"?

Wouldn't "before taking part in the egg-and-spoon race, take off your shoes" be less ambiguous and so less confusing?

In the same vein, Kuala Lumpians do not "use" but "utilise" the LRT.

Some of them live not "near" but "adjacent to" the station. If "adjacent to" is not verbose enough, "in the vicinity of" is an elegant variation.

On arrival at the station, they do not "go" but "proceed" to the counter not to "buy" but to "purchase" or "for the purpose of purchasing" a ticket.

And their journey does not "begin" but "commence" from Kelana Jaya.

It will not be long before we hear a child sing "when the pie was opened, the birds commenced to vocalise." After the "rendition" on the way home, should he be mugged, he does not yell "help, help" but "assistance, assistance".

"Now" or "at present" is elementary, my dear Watson. It is "at his moment in time".

All these, however, pale into insignificance beside the headline "Cros maul Giants".

Eager to find out how the giants could have met such a gruesome fate, I read the report. But I just could not see a croc or a giant anywhere.

"Turtles tame Panthers" again led me up the garden path ... there was not a turtle, panther, or even any other animal in the report.

And so, when I saw "The Shark to undergo hip surgery", I immediately smelt a rat. True enough, when I read the report, there was no shark anywhere to justify the headline.

The result of the hocus-pocus is that reading newspapers is now lagi teruk than listening to the prattle of children and teenagers.

But give me the prattle anytime. If nothing else, it does not make a monkey of me.


No comments:

Post a Comment