Jangan hanya kalian sahaja yang merasa

DR.MAZA: " Kalian rampas subsidi kami, entah ke mana dibawa lari kalian beritahu, wang mesti dicatu, kita menuju maju... kalian kata: jika tidak, semua menderita, habis harta negara... kalian berbahasa: bukan barang naik harga, cuma subsidi turun sahaja...

kami orang desa, mungkin tidak pandai kira berjuta-juta... kami orang kecil kota, mungkin tiada sedemikian harta... jika kalian tipu sebegitu, biasanya kami diam selalu... tapi dapatkah kami dibohongi, tentang suapan saban hari? apalah yang dapat diberitahu anak ke sekolah? papa semakin parah? wang semakin lelah? jika semalam berlauk, hari ini cuma berkuah... kerana kerajaan kita sedang susah? maka subsidi kita terpaksa diserah...

Jika semalam kau makan sepinggan, hari ini saparuh kerana barang makin angkuh, wang papa makin rapuh... apa yang dapat dibisik pada anak berkopiah ke madrasah? makananmu sayang, sebahagiannya sudah hilang... jika mereka bertanya siapa yang bawa lari kepada siapa patut kami tuding jari? janganlah nanti mereka membenci pertiwi... akibat pencuri harta bumi rakyat marhaen ini.. atau kami jadi insan curang... kami beritahu; cuma subsidi sahaja yang kurang? tiada apa yang hilang, nanti akan datang wang melayang...

Dengar sini wahai yang tidak memijak bumi! pernahkah kalian mengintipi kehidupan kami... pernahkah kalian ngerti makna derita dan susah hati... kami yang semput bagai melukut di kota kedekut kami yang bekerja hingga senja di desa yang makin terseksa bertarung nyawa dan masa, menghitung setiap belanja pernahkah kau merasa? rumah bocor yang lanjut usia... baju dan kasut anak yang koyak tinggal dalam rumah yang berasak-asak siang kami sebak, malam kami sesak... sedangkan kalian manusia angkasa... istana permata dibina, kereta berjuta dirasa... elaun di serata, dari isteri sehingga seluruh keluarga... hidangan istimewa, konon meraya kemakmuran negara...

Tapi kami masih di sini..di teratak ini... dengan lauk semalam.. dengan hidangan yang tidak bertalam... dengan rumah yang suram... dengan wang yang hampir padam... tiada istana lawa...tiada kereta berharga... tiada layanan diraja..tiada baju bergaya tiada kediaman menteri...tiada hidangan vip... tiada persen di sana-sini...tiada bahagian anak dan bini... tiba-tiba kalian kata: kamilah beban negara... aduhai celaka bahasa yang kalian guna... kalian yang belasah, kami yang bersalah... kalian buat untung, hutang kami tanggung... kalian mewah melimpah, kami susah parah kalian hilangkan wang, poket kami yang terbang... kalian bina istana, rumah kami jadi mangsa... kalian makan isi, kami dijadikan abdi... lantas, kalian rampas lagi subsidi... ke mana wang itu pergi nanti?

Jika kalian berhati suci, wajib mengganti buat kami... jika tidak pun buat gula konon merbahaya mengapa tidak beras diturun harga? jika tidak untuk minyak kereta... mengapa tambang tidak potong sahaja... tapi entah berapa kali janji... konon: nanti kami ganti, kami ganti, kami ganti... hari demi hari, ceritanya pun tidak berbunyi lagi... kami terus termanggu di sini... kalian juga yang nikmati... kami hanya menggigit jari... kembalikanlah kepada kami harta negara... jangan hanya kalian sahaja yang merasa... "

- Dr MAZA

BERHATI-HATI DENGAN PENYAMBUNGAN NAMA

by MuhdArifAiman.com

 

Ramai wanita muslimah setelah menikah, lalu menisbatkan(mencantumkan) namanya dengan nama suaminya, misalnya: Aisyah menikah dengan Amiruddin, kemudian ia memakai nama suaminya sehingga namanya menjadi "Aisyah Amiruddin. "

Bagaimana hukum Islam mengenai perihal bersambungan penamaan ini?

Dalam ajaran Islam, Hukum Penamaan adalah hal yang penting. Setiap lelaki ataupun perempuan hanya dibenarkankan menambahkan “NAMA AYAHNYA” sahaja dibelakang nama dirinya dan HARAM menambahkan nama lelaki lain selain ayahnya di belakang namanya, meskipun nama tersebut adalah nama suaminya.

Kerana dalam Islam, nama lelaki di belakang nama seseorang bererti keturunan atau anak dari lelaki tersebut. Sehingga tempat tersebut hanya dibolehkan untuk nama ayah kandungnya (WALI) sebagai penghormatan anak terhadap orang tua kandungnya.

Berbeza dengan budaya barat(kafir). Contoh: isteri Bill Clinton: Hillary Clinton yang nama asalnya Hillary Diane Rodham; isterinya Barrack Obama: Michelle Obama yang nama asaknya Michelle LaVaughn Robinson, DLL..

Hadith mengenai perihal penamaan ini Shahih. Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam bersabda,

“Barang siapa yang mengaku sebagai sanak kepada selain ayahnya atau menisbatkan dirinya kepada yang bukan walinya, maka baginya laknat ALLAH, malaikat, dan segenap manusia. Pada hari Kiamat nanti, ALLAH tidak akan menerima darinya ibadah yang wajib maupun yang sunnah” (HR. Muslim dlm al-Hajj (3327) dan Tirmidzi)

Wallahu'alam...

Using a charging cellphone

IMPORTANT FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI HOSPITAL .....VERY SERIOUS WARNING...

I do this all the time! I guess I won't be doing it ANY more !


A few days ago, a person was recharging his mobile phone at home.

Just at that time a call came in and he answered it with the charging Instrument still connected to the outlet.

After a few seconds electricity flowed into the cell phone unrestrained and the young man was thrown to the floor with a heavy thud. As you can see, the phone actually exploded.

His parents rushed to the room only to find him unconscious, with a weak heartbeat and burnt fingers.

He was rushed to the nearby hospital, but was pronounced dead on arrival.

Cell phones are a very useful modern invention.

However, we must be aware that it can also be an instrument of death.

Never use the cell phone while it is hooked to the electrical outlet! If you are charging the cell phone and a call comes in, unplug it from the charger and outlet. 

The good you do, comes back to you!

••• Wonderful Touching Story •••
by Daily Health Tips

A woman baked bread for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra Bread on the window sill, for whosoever would take it away.

Every day, a hunchback came and took away the Bread.

Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way:
" The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"

This went on, day after day. Every day, the hunchback came, picked up the bread and uttered the words:
"The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"

The woman felt irritated. "Not a word of gratitude," she said to herself...
" Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean?"

One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. "I shall get rid of this hunchback," she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the bread she prepared for him!

As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled.
"What is this I am doing?" she said.

Immediately, she threw the Bread into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window sill.

As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the Bread and muttered the words:
" The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"

The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman.

Every day, as the woman placed the Bread on the window sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune.For many months,she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return.

That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway.

He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak.

As he saw his mother, he said,"Mom, it's a miracle I'm here.

While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed.

I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by.I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole Bread.

As he gave it to me, he said,"This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!"

As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale.
She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned bread that she had made that morning.

Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life! It was then that she realized the significance of the words:
"The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"

Moral : Do good and Don't ever stop doing good, even if it is not appreciated at that time.

WRITTEN BY A COP: Safety tips for women

 Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one's life. In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation... This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, & everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you... Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!). The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR , LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

A.) Be aware:look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat.

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars. 

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door..' The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby.. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors! Please pass this on this e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America 's Most Wanted when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better to be safe than sorry..
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or
a loved one's life.

11 ORANG YANG MENDAPAT DOA MALAIKAT

Syurga Itu Impian Setiap Orang

1. Orang yang tidur dalam keadaan bersuci.

2. Orang yang sedang duduk menunggu waktu solat.

3. Orang yang berada di saf depan solat berjemaah.

4. Orang yang menyambung saf pada solat berjemaah (tidak membiarkan kekosongan di dalam saf).

5, Kalangan malaikat mengucapkan ‘amin’ ketika seorang imam selesai membaca al-Fatihah.

6. Orang yang duduk di tempat solatnya selepas melakukan solat.

7. Orang yang melakukan solat Subuh dan Asar secara berjemaah.

8. Orang yang mendoakan saudaranya tanpa pengetahuan orang yang didoakan.

9. Orang yang membelanjakan harta (infak).

10. Orang yang sedang makan sahur.

11. Orang yang sedang menjenguk (melawat) orang sakit.

Sampaikanlah, walau sepotong ayat.. Jangan lupa untuk share..

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Handimania

Only In Malaysia

THE WIFE

"A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.

The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he is in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.” Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?” No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again he gets no response, so he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again there is no response.

So, he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

The wife says, “For the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

POLITICIANS vs JOURNALISTS

By Dr. Mahathir bin Mohamad

Oct 14th, 2013

1. The world is in a bad shape because politicians instead of journalists run it. I came to this conclusion after reading a copy of The Economist, the British magazine. The writers in the Economist seem to know everything that ails the world and they also know how all these ailment can be cured.

2. The copy begins with the front page illustration of the statue of Christ tumbling through the air from its pedestal on Sugar Loaf mountain in Brazil; down, I suppose to crash on Rio de Janeiro. I suppose it is to illustrate the grave situation in the country.

3. The articles on Brazil began with “Grounded”, followed by “A rough ride for (President Dilma) Rousseff”. Then “The price is wrong”, and an advice on agriculture, “Leaves Well Alone”, followed by “The Road to Hell”. “Money no Object” (on the football stadium), “Land of the Setting Sun”, “Look Good” followed by “Reality Dawns”. The articles describe all the wrong things that are being done by Brazil and how they should and could be corrected.

4. Other articles are entitled “A new Face of Terror” (which Western Governments do not know), “Sending the Wrong Smoke-Signal” (on E-cigarettes), “Angela’s Dilemma” (telling Angela Merkel to look to the Greens).

5. “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is to warn everyone not to put too much faith in Iran’s nuclear deal “and keep the sanctions on”. Cameron, the Prime Minister of United Kingdom is told to “Remember what you once were (the Prime Minister should reclaim the radical centre of British politics)”. “The Unquenchable Fire” is about the Al-Qaeda still being around and deplore the fact that Mr Zawahiri, its current leader is not dead yet. This seems like hinting that the United States should assassinate the Al-Qaeda leader as they did Osama Ben Laden. I suppose Zawahiri’s corpse would be dumped in the sea.

6. And now Malaysia. “Bumi, Not Booming” is about Najib’s announcement of a policy known as “the Bumiputra Economic Empowerment”. This hideous policy discriminates against the Chinese who make up 25% of the population but run much of Malaysia’s business, and Indians 7% but having disproportionate presence in the professions.

7. Apparently any attempt to give the Malays and the indigenous people (68%) a share in the business (and the wealth) and to become professionals is unfair, wrong and unjust. Liberal people should not do this. If they get no share of the wealth and places in the professions, they should just be poor spectators.

8. Prior to the Elections Najib had tried to win over the Chinese by ignoring the plight of the Malays. He even ignored the National Education Policy by supporting Chinese education with money. He tried to endear himself to the Chinese with more money. However the Chinese voters rejected him. Only 3% voted for him. Sounds like gross ungratefulness. For this Najib should dole out some more money, which would be the right thing to do.

9. But the Malays supported him. Apparently according to the Economist it is wrong to support those who support you. You don’t do that in civilised countries. Let the supporters rot.

10. The proper thing to do is to help people who are already well off to be even more well off.

11. In fact one should help the richer community get even richer and the poor community poorer. If there are poor people among the rich community make sure they become rich first before taking any notice of the poor in the poor community.

12. Now on Pakistan. They are giving the “Cold shoulder to Sheriff”. India’s informal economy has “Hidden Value”. Sri Lanka’s Tamils have to face “Harder Lines” – reconciliation is further off.

13. On scientific research “Looks Good on Paper”. Xilai’s “End of the Road” is worth gloating over. On China’s relations with America it is “one model, two interpretations”. The American Budget is about “Nightmares and Bedtime Stories”.

14. And so on, and so on and so on. Really the silly politicians should make way for western journalists. From the words of wisdom in the Economist and generally in the Western press, it is obvious that with journalists and the expert writers at the helm, the world can sleep easy. Why didn’t we think of this before?

Curi RM2 kena penjara

Aqidah memang tidak boleh dijualbeli tetapi mudah tergadai tanpa sedar. Masjid banyak duit. Tetapi pengurusan masjid buat duit masjid macam duit mereka sendiri. Curi RM2 kena penjara. Mungkin yg melidi duit tabung tu dalam kesempitan sangat.

Aku pernah masuk gereja dekat komplek Asia Jaya. Ada kotak transparent atas meja. Ada buku catitan sebelah kotak. Dalam kotak tak bertutup ada banyak duit macam2 note. Aku belek buku. Lima ruang utk diisi. Tarikh, Nama, nombor tel, jumlah, catitan.

Berbagai kaum punya nama ada dan memang aku mencari nama melayu. Jumpa beberapa nama siap nombor talipon. Salah satu nama lelaki ambil RM50 utk beli susu anak.

Aku call nombor yg dicatat. Sembang beberapa minit. Baru kena berhenti kerja jaga masa tu.

"Dah jumpa pak imam masjid. Kena buat surat ke bendahari. Bendahari pula suruh gi pejabat zakat. Sampai pejabat zakat kena isi itu ini. Entah bila pula nak dapat. Kawan india suruh pi gereja. Boleh terus ambik kemudian baru tulis nama. Saya pun pergi tempat tu dengan dia."

Kenapa encik ambik limapuluh je? Bukan ada orang jaga pun.

"Entahlah. Tapi walaupun takde orang jaga tapi Allah nampak walaupun dalam gereja. Niat saya memang nak beli susu anak dan sikit untuk tambang pusing-pusing cari kerja."

Terdiam aku sekejap. Lepas tu encik?

"Saya terus pergi beli susu anak dan balik rumah dgn nasi bungkus malam lima beranak. Pagi esok gereja talipon dan lepas tu saya pun dapat kerja jadi jaga di gereja tu. Takpa la asal tak mencuri."

Aku langsung teringat pada sorang pakcik yg sedang ronda tempat parking masa tu. Encik masih kerja di situ?

"Dak dah. Saya dah balik kampung ni. Gereja bagi modal. La ni saya meniaga gerai makan. "

Masjid patut boleh buat lebih baik dari gereja. Jangan bangga dengan jumlah terkumpul ratusan ribu tapi ahli qariah ada yang dapur tak berasap.

Most Bizarre Cargo Spills

Thanks, Kamal :)! 

 

1. Tons of Mackerel

A truck full of fish overturned and dumped its load into Northern Ireland farmer, Gordon Flinn's, field in January 2012. The tons of mackerel were piled two feet deep in places. The driver of the truck was taken to the hospital, but was not seriously injured and was able to return to the scene. The truck was removed and the road opened later that night, but the Flinns may have to put up with a fishy smell for some time.

2. 2,184 cases of Beer

Highway 401 in Mississaugua was closed on May 11, 2005 after an accident that spilled 2,184 cases of Grolsch beer. A woman driving a car swerved out of her lane and into the path of a Molson beer truck, causing the truck to roll over and the car to flip. One officer described the scene as "a sea of beer". The woman's life was most likely saved by her seatbelt and airbag. The beer was a goner.

NOTE: According to our reader Ken, the accident occurred in the Netherlands.

Below is the article translated by our lovely reader kh:

An accident involving two freight trucks has ensured that the N36 between Mariënberg and Hardenberg had to be closed for several hours to all traffic. For over a hundred meters, the wayside (or the road) was littered with broken glass, beer crates and bottles, police said.

The reason was two cars collided around one o'clock. One of the trucks was transporting beer and swerved. Despite this, the driver was unharmed. The other driver took off and continued to drive his truck away. He later was stopped in Almelo.

The cleanup activities took several hours. The road was reopened to all traffic an hour ago.

3. Doughnuts

In October 2011, in Illinois, a truck carrying frozen baked goods and bratwurst was involved in an accident, causing its cargo to spill all over I-74. The results were delicious. The accident left 20 tons of food, including chocolate cake, doughnuts and cinnamon rolls, strewn all over the highway. Authorities were forced to close the road for seven-and-a-half hours while crews cleaned up the gooey mess.

Two people were reportedly taken to the hospital, but their injuries were not life-threatening. However, doctors did diagnose them with a case of "full stomach syndrome."

4. A Ton of Cocaine

We are not talking about the coke we enjoy to quench our thirst. This is the Class A drug. A ton of the stuff ended up on a road in Bogota, Colombia in 2007, after a drug gang's truck overturned. The cocaine was hidden in the walls and roof.

 

5. 29,000 Rubber Ducks

They were toys destined only to bob up and down in nothing bigger than a child's bath, but so far they have floated halfway around the world. The armada of 29,000 plastic yellow ducks, blue turtles and green frogs broke free from a cargo ship 15 years ago. Since then they have traveled 17,000 miles, floating over the site where the Titanic sank, landing in Hawaii, and even spending years frozen in an Arctic ice pack.

During their voyage, some of the ducks broke away and headed for Europe - others have surfaced in Hawaii. The ducks were among 350 containers which rolled off a ship in high seas; environmentalists are now trying to use their amazing journey to highlight the problem of overboard cargo.

6. 40,000 lbs of Ice Cream

In December 2011, 18,000 kilograms (40,000 pounds) of ice cream spilled from a semitrailer in the state of Indiana, closing two lanes of an interstate highway. The truck was trying to enter the interstate from a ramp when it tipped, spilling cartons of vanilla, caramel praline crunch, and other flavors of Edy's ice cream, onto the interstate.

The spill was expected to take as long as six hours to clean up completely. Oddee's editor would have been glad to help.

7. 14 Million Bees

Cleanup crews in Idaho had to clean up honey, and an estimated 14 million bees, that got loose after a delivery truck overturned on a highway. Several workers were stung during the first few hours of the cleanup. And some observers told about seeing a strange black cloud and roaring noise above the spill area, before realizing it was a massive swarm of bees.

A truck was hauling the bees from California to North Dakota when the driver veered off onto the shoulder, tipping more than 400 hive boxes and honey. Crews worked for two days before removing all the honey from the roadway, although deputies say a significant amount of bees were still buzzing.

That's what I call a sticky situation.

8. Shoes

On January 2, 2009, shortly before 8:00 a.m., thousands of shoes mysteriously appeared on a Miami highway. Who spilled the shoes? Nobody knows. But they disrupted traffic on the Palmetto Expressway for hours. There was no sign of a crash and no one has claimed them.

They were a strange mix of shoes... work boots, slippers, sneakers, sandals, even roller blades. A private contractor was hired to pick up the shoes and dump them in an empty field (weird). Soles4Souls, a nonprofit organization, was expected to pick them up and distribute them, probably in Haiti. If anyone does come forward they will be charged for the cleanup.

The shoes had, what seemed to be, yard sale price tags on them.

9. $80,000 of Bull Semen

It's not often a huge load of steaming bull semen spills across a highway- but that's exactly what happened when four vats fell from a bus and shut down an American interstate in Nashville, Tennessee. The wayward canisters containing the cattle sperm were first reported to police at five a.m., after motorists driving on the downtown Nashville interstate caught a whiff of a foul odor wafting across their vehicles.

A Greyhound bus ticket found near the vats alerted emergency crews as to who was responsible for their transportation, and it's understood the bus carrying the canisters was totally unaware of its lost cargo. Experts in cattle breeding and artificial insemination estimated that the four canisters were worth up to $80,000 US.

10. Two million Euros in Coins

Cash-grabbing motorists brought a road to a standstill after an Italian lorry carrying Euros overturned and spilled two million of them - in coins. The truck overturned in Foggia, southern Italy, in July 2010, shedding its contents all over the highway and leading motorists to hit the brakes and dig in.

Local police said that it was impossible to establish how much money had been stolen, as many of the Euro 1 and Euro 2 coins remained in piles on the highway. But motorists acting quickly before police arrived made off with at least Euro 10,000. The truck's driver and one passenger had suffered minor injuries. The truck was carrying the money from the Italian mint to local banks.

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

by Michael Yon


To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!



PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!

The funny Dave Chappelle

Personality test (trees)

By •Inspire Yourself•

Look at the tree and choose the one that is immediately most appealing to you.
Don’t think about it too long, just choose, and find out what your choice says about your personality.




The results:

1. You are a generous and moral (not to confuse with moralizing) person. You always work on self-improvement. You are very ambitious and have very high standards. People might think that communicating with you is difficult, but for you, it isn't easy to be who you are. You work very hard but you are not in the least selfish. You work because you want to improve the world. You have a great capacity to love people until they hurt you. But even after they do. . . you keep loving. Very few people can appreciate everything you do as well as you deserve.

2. You are a fun, honest person. You are very responsible and like taking care of others. You believe in putting in an honest day's work and accept many work-related responsibilities. You have a very good personality and people come to trust you easily. You are bright, witty and fast-thinking. You always have an interesting story to tell.

3.You are a smart and thoughtful person. You are a great thinker. Your thoughts and ideas are the most important. You like to think about your theories and views alone. You are an introvert. You get along with those who likes to think and learn. You spend a lot of time, thinking about morality. You are trying to do what is right, even if the majority of society does not agree with you.

4. You are perceptive and philosophical person. You are a unique, one soul of your kind. Next to you there's no one even slightly similar to you. You are intuitive and a bit quirky. You are often misunderstood, and it hurts you. You need personal space. Your creativity needs to be developed, it requires respect of others. You are a person who clearly sees the light and dark sides of life. You are very emotional.

5. You are self-assured and in charge. You are very independent. Your guiding principle in life is 'I'll do it my way.'. You are very self-reliant and know how to stay strong for yourself and the people you love. You know exactly what you want and are not afraid of pursuing your dreams. The only thing you demand from people is honesty. You are strong enough to accept the truth.

6. You are kind and sensitive. People relate to you very well. You have many friends and you love helping them. You have this warm and bright aura that makes people feel good when they are around you. Every day, you think about what you can do to improve yourself. You want to be interesting, insightful and unique. More than anybody else in the world, you need to love. You are even ready to love those who don't love you back.

7. You are happy and unflappable. You are a very sensitive and understanding person. You are a great listener who know how to be non-judgmental. You believe that everybody has their own journey in life. You are open to new people and events. You are highly resistant to stress and rarely worry. Normally, you are very relaxed. You always manage to have a good time and never lose your way.

8. You are charming and energetic. You are a fun person who knows hot to make people laugh. You live in a state of harmony with the universe. You are spontaneous and enthusiastic. You never say no to an adventure. Often, you end up surprising and even shocking people. But that's just how you are. . . You always remain true to yourself. You have many interests and if something proves of interest to you, you will not rest until you acquire a profound knowledge of this area.

9. You are optimistic and lucky. You believe that life is a gift and you try to achieve as much as possible and put this gift to the best use possible. You are very proud of your achievements. You are ready to stick by the people you care about through thick and thin. You have a very healthy approach to life. The glass is (at least) half full for you. You use any opportunity to forgive, learn, and grow because you believe that life is too short to do otherwise.