Top ten ways things would be different if Santa were American Indian

Top ten ways things would be different if Santa were American Indian, from the home office on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, 

by Dani NHH

10. At bedtime, kids would leave Cornsoup and frybread for the big guy

9. He would be wearing a red turtleneck to hide his hickeys

8. Santa's new moccasins are made out of Dasher

7. Santa has to take out a billion dollar pre-Xmas tide over loan at a bordertown bank

6. Five pound block of cheese under every tree

5. His elves would never show up for work on Friday's and sometimes Monday's.

4. The sleigh would need a boost every other state

3. His outfit would consist of a red flannel ribbon shirt, with matching leggings, moccasins and beaded black belt with matching beaded rimmed hat, all to match his oversized beaded gift bag. And underneath would be a beaded thong with a small delicate plume attached to the back.

2. Indian preference would require you to hire all Navajos to fit in those teeny tiny elf outfits

1. According to Indian time, our gifts would arrive in February