By Mariam Tan Abdullah
09 August 2000
KHAIRUL only learnt to handle money when he started primary school.
Although he had copy cutouts of the different denominations of coins as
a kindergarten project and knew how to add and subtract, he'd never
bought anything on his own.
He managed to buy food from the canteen but forgot his change on several
occasions. Once I forgot to give him his pocket money of RM2 for the
day, so he had to go hungry. His friends refused to give him a loan
because he did not lend them money when they wanted to borrow from him.
Recently, his toddler brother ferreted his wallet out of his school
shirt pocket and hid it under the bed together with a colourful sock and
a loose parquet flooring. Khairul had to go hungry again.
On another occasion, Khairul dropped his food and since he had already
run out of money, he had to pick his food off the floor and eat it after
giving it a wash.
Although it might not be apparent from their behaviour, children take
their cues and life-long attitudes about money from watching their
parents. Children pick up their traits, tendencies and mistakes.
When it comes to discussing money, "it's sort of like teaching children
about sex. You don't want to tell them more than they need to know, and
it's never appropriate to draw children into an overly detailed
discussion of the family finances," said a clergyman.
General personality traits can be taught through teaching a child how to
use money. The larger themes and issues of responsibility and discipline
can be taught through the handling of money - how to save today for
tomorrow, how to realise you can't have everything and someone has to
work hard to get the money.
Khairul is picking up very mixed signals from his parents on monetary
values.
I am very cheap to run on and shop like a man these days - dash in to
grab exactly what I want and make a quick exit. Will Khairul learn a
woman will pay RM1 for a RM2 item she doesn't want or will he be
nonchalant like a man and pay RM2 for a RM1 article which he needs?
I am tightfisted about money. Blame it on my background in economics but
someone has to do the dirty job in the family.
Abah never borrows anything - be it money or things - which he can buy.
He goes for originals as far as possible, never bargains nor waits till
the sale.
Khairul has upped his fee for vacuuming the flat from RM1 to RM2 since
the start of the century. Talk about confused messages about money -
abah and mama paid him independently of each other when he first started
his chore and he ended up with RM1 and 50 sen for the same task!
Ever since I gave him an emergency stash of RM2 two weeks ago, in
addition to his regular pocket money, Khairul has been raiding it.
Issuing dire warnings of being left in the lurch does not seem to
provoke any verbal response or a mending of ways.
Looks like I have to revert to getting him a prepaid telephone card
which he lost after a term in school.
Ahmad, Khairul's brother aged two plus, has the last word on money:
"Abah ada 10 dollars," was his reassuring reply to my rhetorical
question of whether money grows on trees.
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